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Infinitely polar bear

9/16/2014

1 Comment

 
How to get a thesis-worthy sample size of polar bears?

First and foremost, send telekinetic hugs to every hunter in the north who will always hold a special place in my heart. Send out thanks to the Government of Nunavut. You make this happen for me.

Logistics:
1. Purchase a same-day return flight to Ottawa to retrieve two boxes because shipping will melt those precious 400+ polar bear hearts. Play every card in the "I'm a girl" deck because those boxes feel like they carry 400+ actual polar bears.
2. Pray to the NFL gods (my only gods) that you breeze through security.
3. Thank your roommate for moving all of his Indian food so you have room in the freezer for one night.
4. Pick your favourite 24-hour playlist and start slicing and cataloguing all 400+ samples into smaller tubes so the next time that -80C freezer opens, you don't thaw everything and destroy your prospects of ever graduating.
5. Cross every limb in your body and pray to the NFL gods that AJ Green recovers and that polar bear telomeres do vary with biological senescence, or differ among muscle, heart, and skin.

Apologies for straining your neck... I'll work on my website building skills when this is all over.
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